


and yet we think the greatest pain's to die

by Yevynaea



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Dysfunctional Family, Families of Choice, Family, Family Don't End in Blood, Gen, Hugs, Lich twins reform & escape the astral plane, Love, M/M, Necromancy, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Possession, Reaper squad and taako hunt em down, thats the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 10:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12431196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yevynaea/pseuds/Yevynaea
Summary: He starts writing songs when he is very young, because without access to instruments that is all he can do. His siblings find the papers tucked under his bed, laugh and start calling him Keats, after a favorite poet of their mother.(Or: a "Kravitz is Keats theory" fic because I know Griffin jossed it but I had a really specific image I just had to write.)





	and yet we think the greatest pain's to die

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags; there's only one actual mention of Edward & Lydia putting hands on Krav at all and it's not /violent/, but the whole concept of the fic is that their family was Bad, whether that's read as physical or emotional abuse or both.  
> And I can't imagine there's any great therapy options for a Grim Reaper, so my assumption in this AU was that Krav never really dealt with anything from his childhood, so then he has to face his siblings again and Is Not Prepared.  
> (Title is from, of course, what else: On Death, a John Keats poem.)

He wants to be a conductor. He wants to be a composer. He wants to be a bard. He wants to become anything that will take the shouting and stony silences of his family and replace them with applause, with joy, with _music_.

He starts writing songs when he is very young, because without access to instruments that is all he can do. His siblings find the papers tucked under his bed, laugh and start calling him _Keats_ , after a favorite poet of their mother-- _their_ mother, not his, and she reminds him of this often, while the twins stand to the side and snicker and smirk because they know it will never be _them_ their mother turns on, so long as little brother is there. _They_ are close, _they_ are family. He is… extra.

 

He doesn't remember ever not being afraid, ever not being resentful, ever not wanting to run-- but where would he _go_?

Sometimes things are better; sometimes their mother is gone for long stretches, and the twins let him tag along with them to the market or to street shows. They help him with his schoolwork-- though they do so condescendingly. They show him the basics of sewing, but it never evolves into true lessons.

Sometimes things are worse; sometimes their mother is home and angry, and he has to be quiet and perfectly behaved because one wrong step-- and the twins never help. They’re talented young elves on the road to greatness, so they announce haughtily, because their mother is watching, and they don't have time for a little half-human half-brother.

 

One birthday, when he's ten and he's just moved on from writing songs to actually composing the music, his siblings surprise him, in a good way, for perhaps the first time in his life. They present him with a viola, given with identical winks and identical grins.

“Don't practice when Mother's home,” Edward warns.

“And not when we're trying to _sleep_ ,” Lydia adds.

“But hey, maybe you'll get famous one day, Keats,” Edward laughs, like he doesn't believe his own words. “And if that day comes--”

“--Just remember who made you.” Lydia tries to ruffle his hair, her fingers getting tangled in the curls for a moment.

“Thank you.” Kravitz clutches the instrument close to his chest, half-afraid they'll snatch it back.

 

When he's almost-thirteen a new neighbor moves in with a piano, and offers free lessons. Kravitz is allowed to go, but only if his siblings go too.

They complain and snap and he has to say _please_ and _thank you_ and _sorry_ over and over and over to return their scowls to default self-pleased smiles, but he gets his lessons.

“Thank you,” he says again, every time, as they leave, and the twins roll their eyes.

“Yes, yes, little brother,” Lydia says.

“Just remember who's making you,” Edward says.

“You are,” Kravitz answers. He knows this script by now. They want to make him into something, just as their mother is making them into something. Because then he will _owe_ them. That’s just the way it is.

 

He is fourteen, and they let him arrange the music for a performance they're putting on.

“Remember--”

“You made me. I know.”

“Good.”

 

He is seventeen, and he's been trying to save money to _leave_ , but Lydia and Edward manage to watch and count every copper he makes at every gig, take anything deemed _extra_ ; more than they say he needs to feed himself until the next show. They never even leave him enough.

“Better luck next time, Keats,” Edward laughs, twisting Kravitz’s wrist to make him release the gold coins he’d been trying to sneak into his pocket.

“How ungrateful,” Lydia tuts, an echo of her mother. She gently but firmly grabs Kravitz's chin, making him meet her eyes, and he winces at the cold anger he sees in her face. “Who arranged this show?”

“You did,” he whispers, hyper-aware of Edward's hand still on him. At Lydia’s warning look, he repeats himself, forces his voice to go louder. “You did.”

“And yet you're trying to steal from us, take more than your share,” Lydia says, flat.

“Sorry,” he replies.

She releases his chin, and Edward finally releases his arm.

“Remember who made you?” they ask in sync.

“...You did.”

 

When he is twenty their Mother dies. Nothing really changes, because the twins’ grief funnels into _anger_ and they take it out on him. He still wants to run. But they keep saying how they _need_ him, how he's their brother, how family needs to stick together. _Remember who made you_ , _little_ _brother_.

He stays.

 

When he is twenty-six he starts getting sick.

 

When he is twenty-seven he stops getting better. He knows he's dying. The twins turn to necromancy, and quickly get consumed by the thrill of the magic.

 

They perform some horrible ritual, while he's bedridden, too weak to stop them. They try to bind him, try to keep him alive, try to _keep him._

It doesn't work, and he's _grateful_.

Kravitz dies not a week from his twenty-eighth birthday, and he's quickly swept under the guiding wing of the Raven Queen, given a choice, given a job.

It's a long time before he lets himself think about his family again.

 

°°°

 

Edward reforms in the Astral Plane, after being murdered by the lich in the umbrella. It's slow, which makes sense, because he was reduced to only ash and the vaguest of shreds of a soul, and it hurts like all hells, which _doesn't_ make sense, because he thought that being super dead would but him above such things as pain _._

“You're back!” Lydia is hugging him almost before he regains a humanoid form. “I've been waiting.”

“I can tell,” Edward teases. “Where are we?”

“Not in the Eternal Stockade yet, which means we should get out of here before anyone realizes,” Lydia says. “Everything's been crazy since I reformed; there was an attack of some sort, I think.”

“Perfect timing, then.” Edward grins.

 

They've always had contingencies, pre-planned escapes in case one or both of them were hunted down by the Raven Queen’s emissaries, because as good as Wonderland was at concealing itself from _unwelcome_ attention, there is always room for caution.

It's harder to perform the ritual from this side of the looking glass, and even harder without the bell, of course, but they manage it, and they manage to break out and beat a couple of other souls to bodies waiting for them in the Material Plane. The cult surrounding them when they open their new eyes don't seem to notice the difference until it's too late.

“Oh for the love of-- don't any elves practice necromancy anymore?” Lydia asks, looking with distaste at the red dragonborn body she's stolen.

“At least you're _tall_ again,” Edward replies from the body of a halfling, untying and throwing off their black cloak. “We have _got_ to get better clothes than this.”

 

°°°

 

The Raven Queen has gotten… a little more _casual_ in communication with Her emissaries, in recent months, since the Hunger, since Lup and Barry joined the ranks. So when his stone of farspeech chimes with a call from Her, Kravitz barely steps away from the noise of the busy kitchen before answering.

“My Lady,” he greets.

“Kravitz, it's just come to my attention that two souls have escaped the Astral Plane,” The Raven Queen says seriously. Kravitz glances up at movement in the kitchen doorway, and sees Lup, Barry, and Taako all standing in anticipatory silence. “I'm sending their bounty to you now, I thought you would want...what is it that mortals say? ‘First dibs’?”

Kravitz frowns, summoning the book of names and bounties. It's difficult to keep his face impassive when he reads the new names appearing on the page, the list of necromantic crimes, but he manages.

“Y-yes,” he says. “Thank you, my Lady. I appreciate this.”

“Make sure it's done quickly,” the Raven Queen says. “They've been wandering long enough.”

“Who?” Taako asks, coming to read over Kravitz’s shoulder. Kravitz almost answers before-- “Edward and Lydia?! The Wonderland liches?!”

Kravitz lets the book disappear before Taako can read more. _Fuck_. His boyfriend knows his siblings.

“I thought I roasted Edward into nothing!” Lup scowls.

“You almost did,” the Raven Queen assures her, and oh, yeah, Kravitz’s stone is still on. “He and his sister just recently reformed in the Astral Plane and-- well, in the residual confusion of trying to deal with all the Hunger did, they escaped.”

“Fuck, I hate those guys,” Taako grits his teeth.

“I'll handle this, my Lady,” Kravitz manages to say to the Raven Queen.

“I'm sure you will,” She replies, before hanging up.

“We're coming with you,” Lup and Barry say more or less in unison.

“Uh yeah, _same_ ,” Taako says, and the other three give him looks. “What? I can handle myself against those jerks. And I want revenge for my beauty…and Merle and Magnus’ stuff, natch.”

“Nice save,” Barry teases. “Sure, why not. Family outing?”

“Yes! Round two, shitty lich twins versus the new and improved Taccos. Let's do it!” Taako takes his apron off, running to grab his magical supplies. Lup laughs and rushes after him, leaving Barry alone with a very nervous Kravitz.

“Hey, you good?” Barry asks. Kravitz just nods.

 

He is not good.

He's deeply tense and uncomfortable, and he thought he could hide that well but the others all clearly notice if the worried looks he's getting are any indication. Kravitz is steeling himself to answer questions by the time they track Edward and Lydia down in some creepy cave, and step through a rift to apprehend them.

Well, thinks Kravitz, at least he doesn't have to see their _actual_ faces, in the bodies they've hijacked. That's something.

But then--

“The Raven Queen sent Her little birds to the party! How thoughtful,” Lydia purrs, grinning with a dragonborn’s sharp teeth, and Edward laughs, the same cruel laugh he's always had, though it sounds different in this halfling’s voice, and Kravitz-- _freezes_. His scythe evaporates from his hand.

Lup and Barry are already moving, jumping in, fighting, and he’s stuck, a frightened child again at the sound of his sibling’s voices _even though it isn't even their voices, move Kravitz, move_ \--

 

Taako didn't think he needed to ask why Krav was so tense. He figured it was about being interrupted before dinner, or worry for _him_ , since he never really came along on Reaper jobs.

But then they see Lydia and Edward-- _they don't even look like twins anymore, that's not fair_ , _this was supposed to be a twin fight_ \-- and Kravitz just… freezes. Taako glances over at him and is kind of shocked, because Kravitz looks _terrified_.

Granted, he hasn't actually known Krav for _that_ long, but Taako can count on one hand the times he's seen Kravitz look anything close to panicked: a split second in the Astral Plane, when he’d breached the tarry surface of the Hunger before being pulled back in. Last month, when Lup had stolen Taako’s clothes as a prank and Kravitz only noticed when he kissed her and Taako snapped a photo. A few weeks ago, when Angus had been mostly-asleep and muttered a soft “thanks, Dad,” when Kravitz carried him up to bed.

None of those can compare to the _fear_ in Krav’s expression now. He puts his hands on Kravitz’s shoulders, and when that earns him a _flinch_ , _Jesus_ _Fuck what's going on_ , he pushes the hood of Krav’s spooky black cloak back to look him in the eyes.

“Krav, babe, are you okay?” he asks.

“Oh my _gods_ ,” says the halfling that Taako thinks is Edward, blocking a blow from Barry’s scythe. “ _Keats_?”

“ _What?_ ” Dragonborn-Lydia demands, throwing a spell at Lup to hold her back, before whirling around to look where Edward is looking: right at Kravitz. She laughs. “How far you've come, little brother! Running errands and following orders.”

Taako’s brain puts the dots together against his will.

“What,” he chokes out, because no, no way, nuh uh-- “babe, they're making this up, right?”

 

Kravitz makes himself respond to Taako’s voice, shakes his head, closes his eyes to avoid seeing whatever look Taako turns on him next. Instead he sees memories, his siblings, everything they did, everything they said--

“What the _fuck,_ ” Taako murmurs, removing his hands from Kravitz’s shoulders. And then Kravitz is being hugged, and it’s kind of a surprise but it feels, _so nice_ . He opens his eyes, holding Taako back, and there's the sounds of a fight in the background and _oh,_ that’d be Lup and Barry still fighting the twins. Kravitz pulls back.

“They--” he can't find words, can't explain.

“Do you not want to reap them?” Taako says, misunderstanding.

“No, I do. I _hate_ them,” Kravitz says, surprised at the venom in his own voice, and Taako raises his eyebrows in surprise before nodding.

“Let’s fuck ‘em up, then,” he says with a lazy grin, and Kravitz is startled into laughter.

 

°°°

 

Making the fight four against two shortens it significantly. A few of Edward and Lydia’s blows and spells manage to hit them, and more than a few times Taako glances at Kravitz to make sure none of his siblings’ constant mockery and goading is getting through again.

Soon enough, though, the lich twins are on the ground, held tight with a binding spell (or five), and despite being in very different bodies they still manage to give identical grins as Lup raises her scythe, ready to swing.

“Wait,” Kravitz says quietly, barely loud enough for Lup to hear. He's at least thirty paces away, helping Taako up after the wizard got thrown backward. Lup’s scythe disappears barely an inch before connecting with Edward's neck, and Edward and Lydia laugh.

“We knew you wouldn't let us go, little brother,” Edward says.

“Untie us, and let's get out of here,” adds Lydia. Kravitz begins to move toward them.

“You know, we became necromancers for _you_ , Keats.” Edward is still grinning.

“You can't blame us for not wanting to lose our baby brother.” so is Lydia.

“Especially when you were just starting to come into your own.”

“Such a talented musician. Could've been a great conductor.”

“We wanted to help you get there. We couldn't just let you _die_.”

“And now look at you!”

“A Reaper!”

“And you're like this because of us, right?” Lydia guesses.

“Because of what we did for you?” Edward adds.

“So much power!”

“The three of us could do anything!”

“So just untie us--”

“--And we can work together again!”

“Just like old times!”

 

“We love you,” they conclude in sync.

_We made you,_ Kravitz hears. He's still fifteen paces away. His expression is cold and hard and calmly furious. He forces his steps to stay steady and purposeful as he gets closer, summoning his scythe back to his hand. He carefully doesn't let his skin and flesh melt away because he wants them to _see_ him, wants them to see his face.

His siblings are smirking, now, still, but he can see the nervousness in their eyes.

Lup steps back, out of his way, when he gets close. He doesn't miss the fact that she glances over his shoulder at Taako, first.

Kravitz comes to a stop in front of his siblings. Slowly raises his scythe back. They laugh.

“Oh, come on, Keats, we all know you don't have it in you,” Lydia mocks.

Kravitz is perfectly still.

“ _Remember who made you_ ,” Edward adds, warning.

Kravitz closes his eyes, and when he opens them, his siblings are grinning again. Kravitz mirrors it,

_g r i n s,_

slow and sly just like them, and they both relax, pleased.

“You did,” he answers.

His scythe swings down too fast for them to say anything more.

 

Barry and Lup snatch the two severed souls out of the air with an unprofessional-- but warranted-- level of glee. Kravitz lets his scythe disappear again, eyeing the stolen corpses his siblings had been inhabiting with some distaste.

“Babe, I am so fucking _proud of you_!” Taako practically launches himself at Kravitz. Kravitz catches him, laughing, and then they're kissing, and it's good, as always.

“Stop making out, it's group hug time,” Lup says, which is all the warning they get between she's shouldering her way between them. “That was _badass_ , Ghost Rider.”

“It was pretty awesome,” Barry agrees, joining the hug. Kravitz nods, wrapped up in thought as the four of them hold each other.

“ _This_ is what family is,” he thinks, not realizing he's said it aloud until the twins press gentle kisses to both sides of his face.

“Hells yeah it is,” Taako agrees. Barry hums his agreement.

“Yep,” Lup says. “Also, you made your own damn self.”

“Oh, fuck yeah. And you did amazing.” Taako nods.

Kravitz says nothing, just smiles, nestling into their arms, marveling at the warmth he feels.


End file.
